I'm sitting here alone in my parent's house, just four days away from flying back home to Toronto. My mom just left with my stepdad to go to the hospital (he has diverticulitis and was running a fever), my brother is working at his second job (one of the hardest working people I know) and I'm babysitting my seven-year-old nephew who, if I'm being honest, has done nothing but disappoint me this whole time I've been home for the holidays. But he's a kid and I have to try and be easy on him because I was the same way when I was his age and my mom was doing it all by herself. The just about three weeks that I've been home has been amazing, as a teachers strike shortened my vacation by two weeks last Christmas, but it has also been a roller coaster of emotions.
It was a long, busy three and a half months but the first semester of my second year was easily my best. It was some of the toughest work I've done and my classmates helped me a lot, but I got through and I was lucky to be rewarded with great marks and a shitload of confidence. I'm now halfway through the program!
In the midst of the semester, however, and two days before I flew home for the mid-semester break, my grandmother on my dad's side passed away. We were never super duper close but she did help spur my love for baseball and football and was instrumental to my childhood NASCAR addiction lol. The Marshall side has never really been one to show a lot of emotions or even talk about what bothers them (at least not in my presence), but that's okay. It made getting over her death a whole lot easier. Grandpa went about his business like he always does. He's in his 90s and still does work around the house both inside and out. But Christmas had a different feel this year. Even though Grandma wasn't around, spirits were high and for the first time since I was a kid, I didn't really wanna leave.
To top the holidays off, Tara flew to Saskatchewan for a week and it couldn't have happened at a better time. The love of my life met (almost) everyone important to me and was able to hang with the craziness that is my family and friends and showed me that once you find your person, you should never let them go and do whatever you need to make them happy.
My mom's parents have been living separately for the first time in over 60 years and not by choice. Grandpa needs full-time care but grandma does not. As a result, they have to live apart. They are only a few blocks away from each other, but it feels so much further as he doesn't have a phone and she calls the house several times a day wondering where grandpa is because she wants to call him. It's all very confusing for the both of them and puts an emotional toll on my mother and the family that I so desperately want to fix, but I know I can't because I'm struggling with it myself. Thanks to some healthy advice from my mom and one of my best friends, I started communicating with grandpa more than what I was and it has helped both of us, however, I still really struggle with saying goodbye to him because I know he doesn't want me to leave.
Semester four starts up next week and I'm super amped to get things started and build on my great work from last semester and discover what else I'm capable of.
Until next time...
KJM
